Sunday, June 13, 2010

My Father's Eulogy

If you look around this church you see before you the people that loved Charles Ruark. And he loved them, daily, faithfully, for all of his life, he loved them until the end.
 I am privileged to be a part of that heritage, and honored to share some small insights into the life of this man. Husband, father, grandfather, uncle, brother, and friend. 
Although the last two years of his life were marked with great physical suffering, he journeyed on without complaining. When I once asked him how he was after a chemo session he said, “I can’t complain. I got my three squares, my chair, my bed. Life is good.” 
 Dad was funny and sarcastic. And he was quick; he always had the last laugh. That attribute has been passed on to his children and grandchildren. Spend time with any of them and you will see that reflection. He loved golf, fishing, the Bulls, the Bears, the White Sox and sharing those experiences with his family. 
 He shared many things, but not the newspaper. Sneak a peak at the comics and he knew, he knew. Some advice he offered was, “Only you can decide what you can live with. You are responsible for your choices.” Or even more bluntly, “Don’t screw up.”
 His work ethic was impeccable and no sacrifice was too great to provide for his family. Opposites attract and the love that he and my mother had will endure throughout eternity. They knew that one day the kids would have lives of their own, so they built their life together on a solid foundation. 
 We could tease mom, he would not tolerate disrespect. 
 Back in 2000 he wrote letters to his grandson, Kendric, as part of a school project. I wanted to share some excerpts from one of those notes. 
 These are his words of his early life, a life that formed him into the man that he became. When I was your age I lived with my mom and dad and three of my sisters and two brothers, the rest of my sisters and brothers had married and didn’t live at home. Remember there were were 11 children in all.
Later he wrote of the large farm about 360 acres. We had 4 horses, 12 cows, about 200 chickens…there were other animals involved. We had to feed and care for these animals every day….we would put in a very large garden and raise the largest part of our food to eat. 
He went on and described other ways that they gathered food. And then …my father died when I was 10 ½ yrs. old so we had to quit farming and get rid of all the animals except the chickens. 
 We had a very hard time trying to get food…We had no income. My sisters that were home had to go work for room and board.
 So his father died, their livelihood disappeared, the family had to disperse. When I was about 13 ys. old we were able to move to town (Momence) where my mom found a job working for a very nice man. We got to live there until I grew up and went to the Navy in 1945. 
 Although it was a hard life for me when I was young I look back and really have no regrets as I cannot remember going to bed hungry or cold and not being happy. 
 So today we remember and honor a man who had a simple life. But during that simple life he had a successful marriage for 58 years, was an exemplary employee, and raised nine children who never went to bed hungry or cold and were happy. And even in the midst of our great loss, we are still happy because we have this legacy and example before us.