Death and Kids

Last May, my grandchildren's paternal grandfather died. Over the last year they have had numerous visits to his home and watched their parents and aunt sort through the household items and personal affects. They have witnessed many conversations on where and to whom things should go.

 One day I was in my bedroom and my granddaughter at 2, spied my necklaces hanging on a rack. I took them down for her to look at. My 7 year old grandson ran in and called to his 5 year old brother. "Domi, come here. Antonia, look at the necklaces. Pick out what you want for after Monya dies!"

Don't Forget Your Shoes

The grandkids and I went shopping for school supplies on Friday. I offered to take them out for breakfast, but since they think I make the best eggs, they opted to eat here.

 Getting three kids, street ready a

nd presentable, took some time but we were finally ready to head out. Karl, 7, set the lock on the door. They all grabbed a bottle of water, and while I was hunting for their shoes, I commented, "We can't forget your shoes. Where are they?" "In the car," the boys chorused. That's when Antonia pointed and ran into the livingroom. I followed to see her picking up her sandals. Pretty smart for 2. 

We hustled out, I closed the door, and began to load them into the car, adjusting car seats as needed. I tossed my purse into the front seat and looked down, no shoes. Pretty inept for 54.

Swing Set Hazards

Russ assembled a swing set for the grandkids this past Saturday. It took four hours due to the wrong placement of bars, numerous small parts, and the occasional scramble looking for loose washers. 

The kids loved it and before it was totally assembled, they already manned the swings. 

The wildest part was the notice of warnings that was to be posted on the top cross bar. Seriously, they didn't want kids to stand on, jump off, or hang over swings. 

 It's like expecting a newborn to stay dry. Anyway, it provided great material for my column for the Herald this week.

Sparklers

Last night we gave each of the three grandkids a package of sparklers to ignite for the 4th of July. There were six small stems enclosed in a box that could have held 24.

 Did we used to get 24? 12? when I was young or is my memory clouded by the years? I seem to remember the glow being brighter or colored or lasting longer. 

The thread that was still true was the look of delight and wonder on their faces. It still was magical to have a silver stick turn into a fairy wand. 

A campfire with marshmellows being roasted glued smiles into place. And a summer night was light until past bedtime. 

 It doesn't get much better than that.

Reflections on the 4th

Before the arrival of the 4th, Russ and I got into a discussion on why we celebrate the 4th of July. What we ended up remembering was the great sacrifice that was made by the colonists to be free from England. And just looking at that battle, we realize that it was all about freedom from tyrnny. Now I am not going to tackle any type of political commentary here on the blog. That is not my objection. I just want to say that deep inside every human heart is the desire to be free and all people struggle against bondage. So wherever you rage battle against injustice, labor on. You are in good company with those that have gone before.

New Grandbaby

I'll be brief. Life has been flying by for us with vacation in early June, my father's funeral the following week, and the birth of our new granddaughter, Trinity Marie, on the 26th. I plan to write about some of the things that have been happening, but there's not been the time or the energy to give to it. Now it's July and I'm off for four days. I'm hoping to get in some writing time.

My Father's Eulogy

If you look around this church you see before you the people that loved Charles Ruark. And he loved them, daily, faithfully, for all of his life, he loved them until the end.

 I am privileged to be a part of that heritage, and honored to share some small insights into the life of this man. Husband, father, grandfather, uncle, brother, and friend. 

Although the last two years of his life were marked with great physical suffering, he journeyed on without complaining. When I once asked him how he was after a chemo session he said, “I can’t complain. I got my three squares, my chair, my bed. Life is good.” 

 Dad was funny and sarcastic. And he was quick; he always had the last laugh. That attribute has been passed on to his children and grandchildren. Spend time with any of them and you will see that reflection. He loved golf, fishing, the Bulls, the Bears, the White Sox and sharing those experiences with his family. 

 He shared many things, but not the newspaper. Sneak a peak at the comics and he knew, he knew. Some advice he offered was, “Only you can decide what you can live with. You are responsible for your choices.” Or even more bluntly, “Don’t screw up.”

 His work ethic was impeccable and no sacrifice was too great to provide for his family. Opposites attract and the love that he and my mother had will endure throughout eternity. They knew that one day the kids would have lives of their own, so they built their life together on a solid foundation. 

 We could tease mom, he would not tolerate disrespect. 

 Back in 2000 he wrote letters to his grandson, Kendric, as part of a school project. I wanted to share some excerpts from one of those notes. 

 These are his words of his early life, a life that formed him into the man that he became. When I was your age I lived with my mom and dad and three of my sisters and two brothers, the rest of my sisters and brothers had married and didn’t live at home. Remember there were were 11 children in all.

Later he wrote of the large farm about 360 acres. We had 4 horses, 12 cows, about 200 chickens…there were other animals involved. We had to feed and care for these animals every day….we would put in a very large garden and raise the largest part of our food to eat. 

He went on and described other ways that they gathered food. And then …my father died when I was 10 ½ yrs. old so we had to quit farming and get rid of all the animals except the chickens. 

 We had a very hard time trying to get food…We had no income. My sisters that were home had to go work for room and board.

 So his father died, their livelihood disappeared, the family had to disperse. When I was about 13 ys. old we were able to move to town (Momence) where my mom found a job working for a very nice man. We got to live there until I grew up and went to the Navy in 1945. 

 Although it was a hard life for me when I was young I look back and really have no regrets as I cannot remember going to bed hungry or cold and not being happy. 

 So today we remember and honor a man who had a simple life. But during that simple life he had a successful marriage for 58 years, was an exemplary employee, and raised nine children who never went to bed hungry or cold and were happy. And even in the midst of our great loss, we are still happy because we have this legacy and example before us.