Mama and Papa's Words of Wisdom

Thumper was the first to record it for posterity. 

 “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” And although he said it, his mama first told it to him, and I’m sure her mama gave her the same advice.

 Given enough time you will repeat or invent words of wisdom to pass on to your children. “If you don’t finish your dinner, you’ll be too full for dessert.” Remember? You’d dutifully choke down that last bite of potato, that final spoonful of peas.” You secretly wanted to send it to the starving children in China. 

 Bored? “How can you be bored, I was never bored. Why I walked uphill to school both ways. And don’t cross your eyes when I talk to you, they’ll freeze that way.” 

 Leave the door open and the query is, “Were you were born in a barn? I mean, we’re not heating the outside.” 

Be just a little too proud and you’d hear, “Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back.” It was a known fact that “cleanliness was next to Godliness.” “A little soap and water never killed anybody. Land sakes, you could grow potatoes in those ears!” 

 There were those times you wanted to follow the crowd, go to that party, forego a haircut, wear that faddish outfit. “As long as you live under my roof, you’ll do as I say. If everyone took off their clothes and ran naked down Main St., would you?” 

 When the kids were young and close to tears over a broken toy, a skinned knee, a lost quarter, I would sing out, “Too bad, so sad, cut off your head, go to bed,” and a smile would follow. 

 And when wrestling with Dad whenever they tried to tickle his feet he would caution, “If you mess with the bull, you’ll get the horn.” Words he learned from his father.

 Mine recall my constant refrain of, “Life is not fair, get over it,” whenever they protested that a sibling seemed to experience favoritism. When young, one of them would ask if he/she was my favorite. I would always cheerfully insert their name and proclaim, “You are my favorite Peter.” (Or Hannah or Elisabeth) 

By the time they were teens and snarling that I liked someone better than them, I usually replied, “You’re right, I do.” That usually ended the conversation. 

 Russ always gave sound hiking advice, “Don’t step on what you can step over, don’t step over what you can step around. Never stand if you can sit, never sit if you can lie down. Never pass up an opportunity to use the bathroom.” Useful advice for more than the woods. 

 When did these words of wisdom begin? Were they stated at the dawn of time? Invented when the first child said, “No!”? When the second born cried, “Ouch!” after his brother’s punch? If not then when the children looked at each other and sang, “Nani-nani-boo-boo, you can’t touch me”, surely mama and papa spoke. 

 Somewhere, sometime, some parent stated, “Because I said so, that’s why!” And the rest is history.

 Just yesterday, my three year old granddaughter Antonia, observed her sister Trinity at a year old heading for the basement door which was slightly ajar. She lowered her voice and stated, “Trinity, don’t even think about it!” Trinity immediately stopped. Three years old and already a parent in the making.